


Hostage

by Weaselwoman



Category: Iron Man - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Armani suit, LPreg, Mpreg, Not Infinity War compliant, Not Ragnarok compliant, Other, Sven - Freeform, bad!thor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 12:34:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14915471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weaselwoman/pseuds/Weaselwoman
Summary: Loki creeps into Tony's house.





	1. In Flagrante

Loki was tired.

It was hard work, giving birth, especially in his male form; but Loki, feeling vulnerable, would not change shapes now.

So he’d crept into Stark’s western home late at night, found the bedroom and antechamber reserved for him ( _Thank you, Stark_ ), and had lain in silence on the big bed, next to the shoved-over blankets, biting a strap of leather while the cramps ran though him. Finally, with the dawn, he could feel himself stretching, down there; not long now, until the baby crowned and then they could be free.

He moaned a barely bit-off whimper; and heard a commotion at the antechamber door. JARVIS had long ago promised him privacy when he needed it; did FRIDAY break this oath? ( _Or was he just unlucky, as usual_?) Loki spat out the strap, lowered his diaphragm as best he could, and shouted out, “I’m busy!”

“Loki?” _Of course it was his oaf of a brother_.

Another attempted deep breath. “Go away, Thor!”

Which worked as it always did: not at all. Loki just had time to pull a cover over his raised knees before Thor swept into the room, hair in disarray, Midgardian clothing and That Hammer.

“What are you up to, Loki?”

Loki attempted to sigh; something wet slid out between his legs, and he should have been concentrating on that, not his brother. “Why are you here, Thor?”

“Because Heim…—someone—told me I had been cuckolded!”

“Have you talked to Jane?” A shoulder was digging into his channel; Loki shifted and the baby became unstuck, came out in a heap. The under-sheet was getting bloody.

“Jane doesn’t enter into this.” Thor came closer, growling.

“Ah.” Loki attempted to raise himself on his elbows; the baby was still connected by its birth cord.  Now red blossomed on the top-sheet as well. Thor ripped it away, looked down.

“It has dark hair,” Thor said in anger and disappointment.

Lithe Loki managed to sit up, curling over his aching belly to pick up the child. He cleared the film away from mouth and nose, and breathed gently into its—his—face. A son. Said to Thor, softly now, “Thor, I have dark hair.”

“You could change it, to match me.” An old argument.

Loki snuffled at the baby’s delicate neck, protecting it with a large hand. More blood poured out at the next spasm, and Loki gritted through it. Raised his head.

“The house is waking up. You should go now.”

Thor turned and left, hammer swinging on his hip. Loki lay back down, panting, the baby on his chest.

At length FRIDAY said, “Shall I get some help?”

“Yes,” said Loki. “Please.”


	2. Cathy Cambridge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony in the house

Two days later, fully clothed and on his feet (if the Duchess of Cambridge could be presentable so soon after giving birth, so could Loki), he held his new son cradled in one arm in Tony Stark’s bright living room ( _common room_?). FRIDAY had determined the proper nutrients and temperature; Tony, alone, brought him the bottle.

“So, Mystery Date, I see what brought you here, but I don’t understand why.”

“It’s not your child. Genetically.”

“Whose is it, then? Shouldn’t you be annoying someone else?”

“You are strong enough to offer sanctuary; I took advantage of it. I apologize.” Introducing the bottle to the baby’s lips.

“Yeah, sanctuary from whom?”

“My brother.”

“Thor? Why? He didn’t want a nephew?”

“He wanted a _son_.” Loki spat out.

“Well, Jane has a say in that, so… Wait. You mean from _you_? You and _him_? You’re his _brother_.”

“Only when convenient. You do know we do not share blood, yes?”

“Still fucked up.” The baby was starting to cough; Tony, who knew some random things, grabbed a towel from the kitchen and slung it over a shoulder. Loki put the baby on Tony’s shoulder, still holding onto it; patted until a little milk ran onto the cloth.

“...And _that’s_ how you don’t ruin an Armani suit. Ask me how I know.”

Loki said nothing.

“Okay, then, tell me the plan.”

Instead, Loki put the baby into Tony’s arm, adjusting his elbow so that Tony was cradling the baby. He wiped the nipple of the still warm bottle, offered it to the child again, and put it in Tony’s other hand. “There.”

“Uh, what are we doing here?”

“We are following the old Asgardian custom of fostering, less roughly than Laufey and Odin did. You are now his foster-father, Stark. Raise him well.” Loki started to turn away.

“Wait.”

“I have to go.”

“No, wait!”

“ _Now_ , Stark.”

“Just hold it! You know what we call men who leave their children on Midgard? We call them _deadbeat dads_. You want to be that?”

“You can afford to keep him. And I _really_ have to go.” Loki’s smile was _almost_ false.

“I don’t even know his name!”

“Call him Einar,” Loki said, and was gone.

 

The baby snuggled into his side. Tony babbled quietly to himself and the baby. “Einar. That’s not an old Stark family name. Guess it’s a new one.” More loudly, “Hey, FRIDAY? Can you contact Ms. Potts? She can probably find someone who knows how to raise a baby.”

“Yes, sir,” said the disembodied voice.

Einar startled; Tony looked down at the spreading wetness.  ‘’…Aaand that’s how you ruin an Armani suit.”

 

* * *

 

 

Chapter 2 ½. What happened next.

 

“Pep, I’ve been given a baby. Now what do I do?”

“A disgruntled ex?”

“No, the stork brought him.”

“I’ll be right over.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The name Einar is from Ohdotar’s wonderful Sven, otherwise not related to this fic.
> 
> Bad!Thor is based on many a tale of ex-significant others who Won’t Let Go.


End file.
